


Foolish

by rainingover



Category: Monsta X (Band), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: Alternate Universe - All In (Music Video), Angst, Arson, Bruises, Developing Relationship, Drug Use, Dystopia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mentions of physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-05 18:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11018766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingover/pseuds/rainingover
Summary: Minhyuk has become remarkably observant since he fell in love with Hyungwon, so he notices it when Changkyun makes space for Kihyun next to him, hand at the small of Kihyun's back as he sits down.





	Foolish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightningwaltz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningwaltz/gifts).



> Thank you for your great prompts, I really hope you enjoy this!!
> 
> [Link to the [All In music video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNxPGbk-gwA) for anyone who'd like it]

 

Minhyuk has become remarkably observant since he fell in love with Hyungwon, since he started watching, day in and day out, for signs that things have worsened for him.

The signs of Hyungwon’s pain aren’t always obvious: sometimes they are glassy eyes, lost in thought. Sometimes they are hands flinching away from human contact, ever so subtly, or increasing excuses to be anywhere but alone with his father.

Minhyuk makes it his job to notice, to tend to the hidden bruises and to give him excuses to be away from the house, because if he doesn’t do this he worries that Hyungwon might just disappear altogether, and that is an unbearable premise. He's part of the Clan; the Clan need him. Minhyuk needs him.

Minhyuk stops having to use this skill so much when the bruises start to show.

They appear on cheeks and around eyes, a bloom of purple and blue across Hyungwon’s skin. He’s still beautiful, Minhyuk thinks, but it’s difficult to look at him and stay focused on anything other than wanting to cause his father insufferable pain. Minhyuk looks at him regardless as he places his fingers under Hyungwon’s chin and tilts his head gently, biting at his bottom lip to stop the scream of frustration and anger and pain that he so wants to let out from leaving his mouth.

“Does it hurt?” Minhyuk asks, keeping his voice calm, but Hyungwon doesn’t respond. Instead he lowers his eyes and takes a sharp breath when Minhyuk presses his thumb to the skin too firmly, so Minhyuk gets his answer anyway. He’s observant, after all.

 

* * *

 

Minhyuk is observant, and so he notices it when Changkyun makes space for Kihyun next to him, hand at the small of Kihyun's back as he sits down.

He notices the tiny glances between them as they all wait for Jooheon behind the market, Changkyun sitting next to Kihyun on the curb, Kihyun rubbing at his knee distractedly.

And he also notices their fingers, laced together as they stumble through the rubble that litters the ground where once was the centre of the village.

Sometimes he thinks about saying something about it to one of them. Congratulating them or teasing them, maybe. But then they'll know they're not being quite subtle enough, that someone - even though it's only him - can tell what they're doing, and he doesn't want to break the spell for them, so he doesn't say anything after all. 

 

* * *

 

Minhyuk sometimes wonders if Jooheon set out to find them all. If it wasn't a coincidence that they patrolled the same area of the forest that night, that they ended up in the same clearing. He sometimes wonders if what they saw in the sky was orchestrated by Jooheon all along, part of an elaborate plan he doesn't understand yet. There are things about Jooheon that Minhyuk knows they'll never understand, and he isn't sure it's a good thing, even if Jooheon _has_ done so much to keep them safe, to give them a means of escape.

He tells this to Hyungwon in loud, breathy whispers after one of the rituals. They're back in the abandoned school-house, in the room at the back, the only room without a broken window or battered furniture. Hyungwon is lying on his left, right there close at his side. His skin is warm and sticky, and the window in the room won't open, the latch long snapped off, but Minhyuk can't bear to move away from him.

"You've been drinking too much of the elixir." Hyungwon is clearly amused. It shows on his face in a lazy smile.

Minhyuk scoffs. "I'm completely sober. I'm-- my thoughts are clearer than they've been in my whole life, I _swear._ "

"We're so high." Hyungwon is on his other side now and Minhyuk isn't sure how he got there. Maybe he was there all along. "So high. Your eyes are like..." 

"Like?"

Hyungwon shakes his head. "Fuck. I don't know, I'm too high to think. I don't know where Jooheon came from. Does it even matter?"

"I guess it doesn't," Minhyuk admits. It seems like it matters, but maybe Hyungwon is right, maybe it won't in the morning. Maybe it doesn't even matter right now after all.

Later, when Minhyuk is almost asleep, Hyungwon asks him, "Are you thinking of-- of leaving?" 

"No," Minhyuk tells him. _Not without you, anyway_ , he doesn't say out loud.

 

* * *

 

Minhyuk notices that Kihyun is now pretending that his leg is getting better. He watches as Kihyun tries to walk ahead with Hoseok, Hyunwoo and Jooheon, who are walking on fast, ahead of the rest of them, on the lookout for armed men.

Changkyun runs a little from the back of the group to catch up with them, falls into step with Kihyun and places a hand behind Kihyun's elbow. Support if he needs it.

Hyungwon is watching this too. “Do you think that they love each other?” Minhyuk asks him, when they're far enough behind to hold their own conversation without chance of anyone overhearing.

“Don’t we all, in some fucked up way?" Hyungwon looks ahead, watching the path. "We owe our lives to the X Clan, after all.”

“We do.” Minhyuk nods.

“But you don’t mean it like that, do you?” A faint memory of a smile lives on Hyungwon's lips. That lazy smile, the one he wears in bed.

“You know I don't," Minhyuk says. "Anyway, I think that they do love each other." He’s observed them for a long time and he knows it. 

Hyungwon considers this. “Then aren't they foolish for it?" 

“Probably," Minhyuk replies, and he gets the impression that they aren't just talking about Kihyun and Changkyun any longer.

 

* * *

 

Jooheon plucks the petals off a small bunch of the flowers as each of them settle around the fire in their usual order.

The water in the pot is already boiling, already a luminous blue in colour and the air is humid. Minhyuk hears thunder, or maybe explosions, in the distance somewhere to the East as he watches Jooheon prepare. 

Jooheon's mouth is set in a thin line as he concentrates. He looks young tonight, hair dyed with colouring from the red plants that grow along the path towards the river. He looks young, but Minhyuk is sure he doesn’t feel it. None of them do. The world around them has taken their youth and spat it back at their feet. Youth doesn’t save you from war, nor pain.

That’s why they’re here, now, together, Minhyuk supposes. It’s the only way to feel - feel young, feel good, feel anything at all. Minhyuk closes his eyes as Hyungwon swipes a finger over his cheek, leaving a smudge of yellow dye on his skin. Hyungwon smiles at him and Minhyuk returns the favour, gentle as he runs his finger over the delicate skin high on Hyungwon’s cheekbones. Skin that had been brushed with bruises, not paint, just a few days before. 

Jooheon calls for the beginning of the ritual and Kihyun rolls his eyes, while Hoseok laughs from behind his hand, pupils blown from the heady fumes in the air, already lost to the magic. Jooheon doesn’t miss Kihyun’s reaction to his declaration. Says, “If it isn’t a ritual, then what is it, huh?” and juts out his chin: their righteous leader, strong, and determined and assertive.

Kihyun leans forward, holding his hands over the fire that is burning under the boiling pot. He holds his palms face down, flames almost licking at his skin. “It’s... It's just a way to forget.” He shrugs.

Jooheon nods. “Maybe. But it's a  _ritualistic_ way to forget,” he points out and stands up to announce the commencing of the ritual.

Kihyun just smiles in response.

 

* * *

 

There is kissing.

It’s not, Minhyuk thinks, part of the ritual itself. It was never announced. It’s a by-product of the intensity, maybe. A way to strengthen their brotherhood. Or just the effect of the drug.

Maybe it’s just something else to do to feel alive. Minhyuk doesn’t dwell on the whys for too long. They don’t matter, either.

 

* * *

 

Minhyuk is returning from a supplies run when he sees Kihyun and Changkyun huddled together in the clearing behind the schoolhouse.

They break apart like startled birds when they hear him approach, and he smiles as he drops his sack to the ground. “Don’t stop on my account.”

“Stop what?” Changkyun’s face is flushed pink, betraying his nonchalant pose.

Minhyuk raises an eyebrow, but doesn't respond to the question. There are more pressing ones to ask. “How is Hyungwon doing?”

“He’s asleep,” Kihyun replies. It's a relief. Hyungwon's father has been more and more present lately. He's also been less and less able to keep his fists to himself, it seems. Minhyuk seethes with hatred at the mere thought of him. 

“What are you planning to do?” Changkyun asks him, and it suddenly strikes Minhyuk that maybe he isn’t the only observer in their group. 

“Who says I’m going to do anything?” Minhyuk replies, picks up his hoard of supplies and walks past them to avoid more questions. 

 

* * *

 

Minhyuk knows who is in there in the doorway without bothering to look up. “Does Kihyun know you’re here?” He asks.

Changkyun shakes his head. “I brought Hoseok with me, though. He’s waiting outside.”

Minhyuk is tempted to act angry and pretend like he wanted to do this alone, but, if he’s honest, it’s a relief. If he goes to the house alone the anger might consume him completely.

“If we get caught doing this…” He trails off, because he hasn’t even really thought about getting caught. He doesn’t care. He just wants to watch everything Hyungwon’s father owns burn to the ground.

Changkyun shrugs. “We pledged our allegiance to the X Clan. That includes Hyungwon. And you,” he adds, as if he thinks Minhyuk might have forgotten that he made the pledge too.

Sometimes he does, but not today. 

 

* * *

 

They make their way across town as the sun begins to set, the jerrycan heavy in Minhyuk’s grip. He keeps his eyes focused on the road ahead as they walk, determined strides. No talking.

He talks a lot, compared to other members of the Clan. Compared to Hyunwoo and to Hyungwon and even compared to Hoseok. He doesn't want to talk now. When it comes to this - to the most sober and solemn matters of life, death, destruction - silence is all that fits.

Later, when the heat from the flames is overwhelming, suffocating even from well back in the shadows, they watch fire engulf the house for as long as they can before the men arrive to pull Hyungwon's father out of the building, preceded by shouts and sirens.

Then they disappear into back alleys, Changkyun coughing into his hand as they head back towards the old schoolhouse. Kihyun is outside, leaning on his left crutch, when they arrive.

“I don’t want to know,” he says, before anyone can speak, wrinkling his nose at the smell of smoke on their clothes and in their hair. Changkyun won’t look him in the eye, but Kihyun sighs and slips his hand into Changkyun’s anyway, pulling him in close, and this time it isn’t subtle, not at all.

Minhyuk says nothing, but he can't help but smile as turns away from them.

He finds Hyungwon in the room they have silently designated as their own, the one right at the back of the schoolhouse. He's asleep, or he's pretending to be. But that is okay.

As Minhyuk pulls his hooded top over his head and lies down next to Hyungwon, he decides that it’s possible, after all, that Hyungwon was correct that night all those months ago: that it doesn’t matter how they all came to be the X Clan or if there is a reason why. All that matters is that they’re together now, foolish or not. 

 


End file.
